Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Do They Do A Cake For That?

What do you say when you find out a colleague is slipping out of the office for an hour to sign her divorce papers? Is there an appropriate response – like “Bless you” to a sneeze, or “Did you really mean Tina Fey” to “I quite like Sarah Palin”?

Do they make a cake for that? If not, they should.

Then again, they should make a cake for a lot of things – it would save a hell of a lot of awkward. If you could say it with a cake, it’d be the perfect combination of acknowledgment, minus the uncomfortable silence that getting verbal risks. A silence is never uncomfortable if it’s filled with cake.

Other things that are better said without saying them, so they really should make a cake for:

I’m sorry I sent you that text that was about you

Commiserations on the break-up, but I never liked him

Here’s to deodorant!

Congratulations on your unplanned pregnancy, unless you’re exercising your right to choose, in which case… yay feminism!

Let’s agree to disagree

Please stop wearing Simpsons shirts, you’re a grown man

Stop asking me if I’m upset, it’s upsetting me

Yes, your father is my gynecologist, but we never need speak of it – let’s have some cake

I can already tell you for a fact that the best way to apologise to a boss after a relatively embarrassing blogging discovery is through cake (cookie cheesecake is the preferred method).

I’m sure there are thousands more moments they should do cakes for. Why say it with flowers when you can say it with cake? Why admit you were wrong when a cake can make the grudging admission for you? Cakes are for every occasion – I intend to remember this, always.

Painefull Out

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