Sunday, February 20, 2011

Meet Me Halfway

My week in quotes…

“Have you heard of the band the Black Eyed Peas? Well, meet me halfway…” – the embarrassing attempt at negotiation by a used car salesman. His desperation made it difficult to look him in the eye. Unfortunately for him he was dealing with the unrelenting bargaining strategy of Mother Painefull. He didn’t stand a chance, and quoting a song lyric from a band my mother didn’t know existed wasn’t going to help him.

“Obama has stepped down!” – 4am text from Livinia, who is currently living in Germany.

“Ignore! Major miss-hearing! Meant Mubarak!” – 4:05am text from Livinia. New languages do take time after all.

“I swerved to hit my first possum at the age of 16…” – my supervisor, who is so sweet and gentle that I had previously imagined her engaging in duets with animated birds in her spare time. Apparently this possum-killing thing is a perfectly acceptable past time in New Zealand. Then again, she intentionally creates road kill, so can I trust a word she says?

“Find out his weaknesses – likes food… or boobs. Then make that food… or get them out. So… food and boobs.” – sage advice from Helena at work on the art of seduction.

“So long big red…” – a text from Fi farewelling my beloved Red Wagon. I hummed it the Last Post as I drove it into the smash repair shop that was ready to usher it into the great big car yard in the sky. When I asked the guy at the shop whether any part of Big Red might be salvaged for some later use he simply looked at the car and laughed.

Painefull Out

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