that turned out to be true:
- "You can’t embarrass me. I can embarrass you without even trying, but you can’t embarrass me."
- "You should have studied law."
- "If you keep going this way you're going to run out of eyebrows to work with. I fear for their safety."
- "I don’t want you to be friends with that person, I think she’s mentally unstable."
- "Share with people, then they’ll be forced to share back. Next time you have a choclate egg, share it with me."
- "That shirt is to big for you - people are going to mistake you for a boy and I'm not going to correct them."
- "So what if she's going on a date with the boy you like? Next time she tells you something like that, laugh and walk away - it'll make you seem mysterious."
- "Why are you so eager to shave your legs? You're going to spend the rest of your life doing it."
- "Your father gave you this obsessive behaviour, I just gave you bad knees and big breasts. Also, eventually, dementia."